Agent NI?
by Kawaii Dream
Summary: Japan is a famous doujinshi mangaka. He usually draws sexual intercourse between the other nations-but he can't do it without true imagery. Kiku decides to hire a clueless Italian to seduce the nations and 'bed' them while secretly taking pictures of their scandalous actions. Only then the Asian man can draw. But a certain German man isn't too happy about it.. Italy/World?, GerIta.


**Summary:** Japan is a famous doujinshi mangaka. He usually draws sexual intercourse between the other nations-but he can't do it without true imagery. Kiku decides to hire a clueless Italian to seduce the nations and 'bed' them while secretly taking pictures of their scandalous actions. Only then does the Asian man have enough inspiration to draw. But a certain German man isn't too happy about it...

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**:.:Agent N.I.?!:.:**

"Hey, hey, Japan! What's that job that you offered me again~? Germany told me to make my own money by working myself!" The Italian whined to the Japanese man sitting across from him. The two men were currently sitting in an Italian restaurant, awaiting their pasta. Well, at least, Feliciano was. Kiku had politely declined and settled with only water - for his only reason for being in such a place was not for the food, but for the business partner he could possibly gain from doing so.

"Well," the Asian began in an unsure tone. He had indeed asked Italy to help him, and he did offer a generous amount of money to go with it, but...was his ally really worthy enough for such a job? After all, he was sure that Feliciano did not know much about sexual intercourse or explicit pornography. And unfortunately, that was what he needed to know if he wanted to accept the offer. The Italian was always naive, innocent, and oblivious. It was most likely that he would decline after hearing the exact details of what his job would be if he chose to work with him. So, perhaps he'll just explain and leave, find someone else suitable for the work position. The Asian man would feel guilty, using his friend to do all of the dirty work for his own profit.

During his hesitation, the waiter had served the food, which was pasta. The delicious aroma filled the room and mingled with the other scents in the restaurant. Feliciano was already digging in, chewing and slurping the noodles with a satisfied and cheerful demeanor. Japan didn't answer, slightly wavering. After swallowing, he asked Japan yet again, seeing that he had not answered properly. "_Ve_~ Japan? Are you there?"

That seemed to snap him out of his strange trance. Kiku's eyes focused on the Italian once more and he smiled apologetically. "Ah - I apologize for my sudden behavior, Italy-san. I was deep in thought." He finally said, his hand finding its way to the cup that contained water in it. Japan held it and brought it up to his lips, sipping the nice, cold water before setting it back down on the table. Only then did Kiku notice that interior of the restaurant.

The lights were small and hanging above each table, dimly-lit to create a romanticized atmosphere. It was hardly loud in the building. Quite the opposite, really. The only thing that was really heard was the low murmurs and small conversations from the other customers, which could not be seen due to the darkness. Not to mention just how stuffy it felt in there. It was bothering the Asian - he wasn't too fond of going on dates...he didn't have those kinds of feelings towards Feliciano. The carefree man sitting across from him didn't seem to mind at all. Or maybe he just didn't realize how this seemed like a date.

Oblivious indeed._ Italy-san would make the perfect, adorable bottom-definitely an uke character,_ Japan mentally noted. _Most likely a virgin due to naiveness. That may or may not be a requirement for the job..._

"_Ve,_ it's alright, Japan! Even I get deep in my thoughts too, especially if it's about three things: surrendering, eating pasta, and then sleeping like the Italians do!" Feliciano cheered enthusiastically, holding his fork high in the air before he somehow pulled out a white flag from seemingly nowhere in his other hand and waved the two items about, while repeating 've' softly under his breath.

Japan merely smiled and nodded, somewhat happy to see his ally in high spirits. But then again, he was mostly always in high spirits. "Indeed, Italy-san. Now then, before I tell you the exact details of this job...let me ask you this: are you more than willing to do _anything_ expected of you, as long as you make a lot of money?" The Asian asked carefully, emphasizing 'anything'.

Italy stopped his ridiculous arm flapping and stared at Japan. Kiku was sure that Feliciano would say no, but it seemed like his senses were failing him. Because the Italian had smiled and answered a happy tone, "_Si_, of course! I will do anything to show Germany just how strong I am on my own!"

The blood drained from Kiku's face and he visibly paled.

A worried Italy frowned and noticed the change in his friend. "J-Japan? Are you okay?" He asked with a shaky voice, the pasta in front of him surprisingly forgotten for the time being.

There was nothing but silence that followed, the Asian man frozen like a statue while piano music that wasn't playing before (or was it?) played softly in the background. It almost sounded like Austria's playing.

"..."

"...Yes, I'm fine..." Japan finally answered, though he was still as pale as a ghost. His eyes were unfocused and dull - which scared the easily frightened Italian.

"_V-Ve_...Japan...M-Maybe we should talk about this some other time...?" Feliciano suggested meekly, trembling slightly in his chair, pasta unfinished.

"A-Ah, no...it's fine, Italy-san. I was just surprised, is all..." Kiku mumbled, almost like it was meant for himself. "I'll explain the details of this job, then..." Was what he said, but, in the inside, he was truly panicking. And by panicking, I mean he was completely terrified of what was about to come. His predictions had been incorrect. What if Italy were to actually accept his offer? He'd be living with nothing but guilt for the rest of his life! Taking away one's purity and virginity was certainly not a good thing...

"Okay, go ahead~!" Feliciano said, relaxing a bit as Kiku began to speak again, a bit more calmly (creepily) this time.

Taking a deep breath, the Asian began to explain exactly what Italy would have to do if he accepted the job.

"You see, Italy-san, this job I am offering you has no particular title to it...but the closest I can get to it is a '_hooker_'. But please don't misunderstand, you will not be forced to do _meow_ with anyone! All you really have to do is seduce a few people, get them in bed with you, and then do _woof_ and _moo_ with them! It's important that you remember to use protection, or else you might get some kind of disease since it would be your first time getting_ purr_ed into, hard and fast. Do remember thaf if you accept this job, you'd lose your virginity, purity, and innocence!" Kiku finished. He had made sure to make it sound like the worst possible job on Earth, and it seemed to work since Feliciano was trembling in his seat again, face purple. Maybe he had overdone it just a tiny bit...

"O-Okay, I d-don't mind! I'll, I'll take the job!" Italy suddenly proclaimed, though he still appeared to be trembling and afraid. "I'll show Germany how brave I am! And how much money I can make, all by myself!"

Japan paled again, and instantly regretted even telling his friend about such things. "U-Uhm, Italy-san, I don't think-"

Italy stood up and began crying uncontrollably. "Waah, please, Japan! Don't hire someone else! I really need the money, and, and I need to prove to Germany I can survive on my own! I'll do anything! _Annnnytthiiinnngggg_!" The Italian clung to the Asian and shook him back and forth, making him dizzy and paler than before.

And thus, Japan was forced to accept the mostly clueless Italian for the job against his own will.

**:.:Agent N.I.?!:.:**

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**Author's Note:** To be continued. I will most likely not update this story regularly, since I'm still mostly all for the Kuroshitsuji fandom (and because I've bee neglecting most stories for other fandoms other than Kuro's) so no promises on quick updates. But I'll try my best, since it's my first Hetalia fanfiction. Thanks for reading and reviews are appreciated.


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